She's There
by rizzles-ff
Summary: Brittany would never leave Santana alone, let alone this time when she needs her the most, and she will prove that she's not going anywhere, no matter what. Set during and "after" episode 3x06 Mash Off. It's the conversations Brittany and Santana had.


**Author's Note: **After last night's episode, I was left with an empty feeling. I feel Brittany must have played a really important role throughout the whole episode, since Finn outed Santana until the very end. Sadly, that wasn't portrayed on the show. It bothers me we don't get to see the girl Santana is willing to risk everything for, and the reason why she doesn't just bluntly deny everything, trying to comfort and support her girlfriend.

This would be my version of their conversations during that episode and after. I hope you enjoy it.

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><p>Brittany looked at the time and frowned. She was sitting at the Troubletones' choir room waiting for Santana but she hadn't shown up. They had agreed to meet there after she apologized to Finn, but it had already been 30 minutes.<p>

Brittany grabbed her things and headed towards the bathroom, assuming Santana was caught up staring at her reflection and making sure her hair and everything else was looking perfect. She entered, only to find it empty. She turned around to leave, but was stopped by a familiar pair of shoes inside one of the bathroom booths.

"Santana?" she asked quietly, walking towards the closed door.

"I-I'll be out in a minute…" Santana said, her voice barely a whisper. Brittany knew something wasn't right.

"San? What's wrong?"

Santana sat on the toilet, her elbows resting on her legs, her hands covering her face. Finn had just outed her in front of a crowded hallway. Everyone around them had heard him. Now, everyone there _knew_, and soon enough, everyone in the school would know.

"I-I'm fine, Britt," Santana said, trying to sound convincing to no avail.

"Santana, please open up," Brittany said as she knocked on the door. "I know you. What's going on?"

Santana took a deep, shaky breath. She didn't want to talk about it, she just wanted to close her eyes and turn back time. Make every single word go away.

_'Why don't you just come out of the closet?'_

_'She might not love you back'._

'_You're a coward'._

As the words run over and over again in her head, Santana couldn't help the sob that escaped her lips.

"San?" Brittany said, genuinely concerned. "Open up, if not, I'm gonna climb in there if I have to."

Santana sighed and slowly turned the lock, knowing Brittany would actually do it. Brittany opened the door the instant she heard it unlock and took a look at her girlfriend, not understanding what the problem was but realizing it was serious.

Brittany walked into the tight space and kneeled in front of Santana, taking her hands away from her face and occupying the space between her legs. She tried to close the door behind her, leaving them close to each other.

Concern was the only expression on Brittany's face as she watched Santana look away, her eyes red.

"Santana? What happened?" Brittany asked as she placed a hand on her knee and the other one on her cheek, turning her face so she'd look at her. Their eyes slowly met and Brittany could only see sorrow in them.

"Finn and I…" Santana started, but couldn't finish. She couldn't even get the words out.

Brittany's hand stroked her knee, trying to encourage her. "Baby, please talk to me. I need to know what happened."

"The whole school…" Santana tried again, but she couldn't say it. Brittany just waited, giving her the time she needed to get it out. She knew Santana wasn't the type of person to express every emotion, she always tried to hide them and bury them deep inside. "They know, Brittany."

Brittany frowned, not following. "They know what?"

"They _know_," Santana repeated in a whisper, not taking her eyes away from Brittany's, this time fear written all over her face. "They know I'm a lesbian, Britt," Santana finished, not being able to take it any longer as she started crying uncontrollably again, her shoulders shaking.

Brittany's heart broke. Her girlfriend's worse fears were coming true. It was something they had talked about many times. Santana had always told her she wasn't ready, she couldn't tell anyone, she didn't want to face the consequences of everyone knowing she was gay, and Brittany had always supported her. She had been there for her and told her many times it didn't matter, she didn't have to do it if she wasn't ready. Now she had been forced, inexplicably, to face something she wasn't ready to face yet.

Brittany's arms went around Santana and held her tight, her hands going up and doing her back, trying to sooth her. Trying to calm her down.

"Shh… It's going to be fine…" Brittany said, but it only made Santana cry harder. "Baby…"

Santana's face was buried on her shoulder and Brittany could feel the tears streaming down.

"How can you say that?" Santana whispered.

"Because I know it will be. We will fix it."

"We can't, Britt."

"Hey, now, look at me," Brittany said and Santana slowly lifted her face, "I promise," she continued as she rested her forehead against hers, "I _swear_ we will fix it, okay? You'll just deny everything, we will find you a fake boyfriend, whatever you need," Brittany said. She never wanted to see Santana get hurt. Ever. And she was willing to do literally anything to take the pain away. "Okay?" she asked again, and Santana nodded.

"Look, we don't know who heard and what they heard exactly. We can fix it," Brittany repeated and hugged her girlfriend tight. Santana nodded against her and took a deep breath. Maybe they could indeed fix it.

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><p>Days later, Santana was called into Sue's office. She didn't know what was going on and she didn't know what to expect. She and Brittany had been talking and she was calmer now. It seemed like everything could go back to normal. That was until she saw the campaign video that was supposed to air in a few days.<p>

"I haven't even told my parents yet!" Santana said as she ran out of Sue's office, scared like she had never been before. She wasn't ready to face it. She wasn't ready for any of this. Why did it have to happen to her?

She ran, her mind racing, her feet guiding her without real consciousness of where she was going. She entered the Troubletones' room, her eyes searching for Brittany. She needed her.

She stopped on her tracks when she saw everyone there. Of course everyone would be there, they were about to perform. They all looked back at her, frowning. It was obvious she was crying.

"Santana?" Brittany took a step forward.

Santana just looked at her and turned around, walking away from the door and waiting for her a few feet away. Brittany hurried after her.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned. She thought everything was better now.

"There's a video… my family…" Santana said between uncontrolled sobs. "I can't do this!" she said and Brittany hugged her tight. She didn't know what else she could do or say. Seconds later the Troubletones and Shelby walked out of the room, casting worried looks their way. Santana immediately got away from Brittany's embrace and whipped her tears away, nodding at them.

The whole song was painful. Brittany needed to tell Santana so many things, but she had to remain professional. She had to dance and sing like everything was okay, but she couldn't. She tried to find Santana's gaze every time she could, tried to convince her just by looking at her that everything was going to be fine. She needed to get to her. As the song kept going, as she painfully felt the lyrics, every word stung like no other song before. It almost seemed like Santana wanted to pull away. Like she wanted to give everything up. Brittany desperately needed to let her know that was not going to happen.

The song ended and Santana confronted Finn, slapping him hard before turning around and walking away. Brittany followed her, not without stopping in front of Finn first.

"_No one_, not even _you_, has the right to do what you did," Brittany said in a voice probably no one had ever heard come out of her before. She quickly turned and left in Santana's direction, trying to catch her before it was too late.

"Santana! Wait!" she yelled as Santana exited the school's doors. She didn't stop. "Santana, please!" she begged, running faster, catching up with her. "Santana…"

"I can't do this, Britt," Santana said, not looking at her, still walking. It hurt. Everything had been so wonderful between them these past few months, but she just couldn't go through all of it.

"Where are you going?"

"My house."

"Come to my place," Brittany offered, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "Don't go there, San," Brittany begged, "I don't want you to be alone."

"I have to be alone, Brittany." It was the only way she knew.

"You don't have to. You have me. Stay with me tonight," Brittany insisted. As much as Santana wanted to pull away, she was not going to let her. She needed to know Brittany was going to be there for her, no matter what.

"I can't do this…" Santana whispered, looking away, refusing to meet Brittany's pleading gaze.

"You don't have to do anything right now, baby," Brittany said, "just stay with me."

Santana finally nodded. Maybe it was a better idea not to go home. She couldn't face her family right now. What if they asked her what was wrong? What if they_ already_ knew?

They walked to Brittany's house in silence. Neither of them wanted to talk about it until they were at Brittany's house. Once there, Brittany stopped by the kitchen to get Santana a glass of water and then headed towards her room, where she found her sitting on the bed, looking straight ahead.

"Here you go," Brittany said, handing Santana the glass, who took it but didn't drink from it.

Brittany sat next to her and put her arm around her shoulder, pulling Santana towards her. They sat in silent for what seemed like hours, none of them sure of what to say. Brittany looked at her, hating to see her so sad. So broken. She started kissing her cheeks, her temple, the tip of her nose. Slowly kissing her forehead, until she got to Santana's lips. She kissed her slowly, gently, reassuringly. Santana's hands went to grasp her shirt, while Brittany's fingers tangled in Santana's hair, pulling her closer, never wanting to let her go.

That kiss wanted to say so many things. As they explored each other, like they had done so many times before, it felt different. It felt desperate, as if trying to express things that were too hard to say. Brittany held on to her, not stopping the kiss until it was completely necessary and they both needed to breathe.

They sat there, looking at each other, trying to find words that wouldn't come out. After a while, Santana sat straight up and moved away from Brittany, turning around to face her. She opened her mouth to speak but then closed it. She took a shaky breath and looked away as she played with her hands.

Brittany watched her in silence, giving her the time she needed. Trying to reassure her, she grabbed her hands but Santana slowly pulled away. "I can't do this..." she said softly.

Brittany swallowed. She feared this was the direction Santana was going to take. "San..."

Santana raised her hand, stoping her from saying anything else. She gathered the courage to look at her, her eyes tearing up once again. "I love you, Brittany..."

"I love you too," Brittany replied right away.

"But..." Brittany closed her eyes as that word left Santana's mouth, "I don't think I can do this, Brittany. And I don't want to hurt you."

"Santana, you don't have to do anything," Brittany tried to reason.

"I do! It's out there, Brittany, can't you see it? It's already out there. I can't deny it anymore. _Everyone _knows, and whoever doesn't will soon enough. But... But I can't face it. And I don't want to hurt you," Santana said honestly, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You won't hurt me, baby," Brittany said, slowly reaching to wipe a few tears away, wanting so much to just wrap her in her arms and hold her tight.

"I will. You don't deserve this, Britt. You're such a wonderful girl, and I'm... I... I'm a coward," Santana said, looking away.

"You are not!" Brittany rushed to say, hating to hear Santana talk like that. "You are anything but a coward, Santana. You're dealing with one of the most difficult moments of your life, where you have to tell the people you care about the most something they're probably not ready to hear, but the fact that you haven't told them yet doesn't make you a coward!"

"You shouldn't go through this, Britt."

"But I want to. Can't you see that?" Brittany said, sitting closer, grabbing Santana's hands. She needed the contact. She needed to know she was still there. This time Santana didn't pull away. "I will be at your side when you go through it all."

Santana looked at her, so grateful to have her in her life. So grateful _she_ was the girl she loved. "What if it gets..." Santana trailed off. Ugly. Terrible. Unbearable.

"I don't care," Brittany said, more convinced than ever before. "I don't care how hard it gets. I don't care if today you are here and tomorrow you need to be alone. I don't care if you need your space, as long as you know I'm here at the end of the day. Santana, we're both in this, okay? You're not alone. No matter how much you believe you are, you are not."

Santana looked at her, not sure what to say. She was so scared. She wanted to pull away. She didn't want to risk hurting her. She didn't want to ruin what they had, but she was so afraid.

"I know you're scared, baby," Brittany said, bringing one of Santana's hands to her chest, right where her heart is, "but I love you. Do you know what that means?" Santana nodded slowly, "I love you and I'll never leave your side. Ever."

Santana looked at Brittany. The same girl she had met years ago, the one she felt she needed to protect and take care of every single day. She was sitting there, in front of her, telling her she'd always be there with her. And she had never been more grateful to hear that in her entire life.

There were so many things, so many emotions going through her head that she could only express them in one way: she grabbed Brittany by the neck and pulled her in for a kiss, one like they had never shared before. It didn't take Brittany very long to reply, both of them needing each other like never before. Hands roamed everywhere, touching, feeling, as their lips crashed and collided. Brittany pushed Santana against the bed, using her whole body to pin her down and get on top of her.

They kissed for minutes before breaking once again to get some air. They looked at each other and Brittany leaned down to place one soft kiss on her lips.

"I love you," Brittany whispered.

"I love you too, Britt," Santana said, scared to death but happy to know she had her by her side.

Santana fell asleep in Brittany's arms a while after. It had been an exhausting day and there were many more to come. Brittany held her tight, occasionally soothing her arm and kissing the top of her head. She stayed awake for much longer, trying to figure out ways to help her girlfriend. Right now, all she knew was that she was going to be with her no matter what. And that was all that mattered.

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><p><strong>The End<strong>


End file.
